


The Benefits of Stalking

by TheCityCesspool



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: A biiiit of stalking, Educated!Shizuo, Feelings are hard poor Izaya, I was going to stick with fluff but that didn't happen, KinderandabitInsecure!Izaya, M/M, Post-Ketsu, Smut, Some Japanese cultural stuff, maybe more than a bit, school and students
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 18:58:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20879099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCityCesspool/pseuds/TheCityCesspool
Summary: Just when he thought he'd never see the beast again, there he was.Just when he thought he'd never see the flea again, there he was.Mutual stalking ensues.(Or, Shizuo and Izaya meet again after years as fairly changed people. But what will they do about it?).





	1. Izaya

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome and thanks for clicking on this three-shot piece. It was originally going to be a one-shot but then it got real long so it'll all be posted one after another. This is something that was swimming around in my head and I wanted to write so badly. Though I couldn't bring myself to continue my other things. But it will happen, I swear!
> 
> English will be in italics. 
> 
> Also, I'm sure you'll neeeever guess what my current profession is. See the ending notes for cultural information. If you have more questions about Japanese lifestyle and such, please feel free to ask me.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy~

There was nothing that could quite compare to the feeling.

He’d been in high-stakes, high pressure situations. He’d been in highly dangerous positions; the kinds that would make any normal person tremble and pass out from fear, yet he’d faced it all head on with smirks and smiles and calm nerves. His red eyes always sparkling with confidence and voice steady, his opponents would fall to their knees before him.

So he was long since accustomed to crushing pressure mentally. He’d mastered his mind, thoughts, and feelings since he was young and there was nothing standing in his way of the future he was creating for himself. Or at least, that’s how it was years ago.

But…Izaya had not been expecting…this, and nothing could’ve prepared him for it.

Shizuo stood in his way. That wasn’t terribly surprising in of itself. If there was someone who disrupted everything Izaya did, it was him.

It was what ultimately led up to their final fight years before.

Yet this, this was different. There was no plot or plan that Shizuo had unraveled or blocked or even slightly interfered with. Nor was Shizuo physically standing there, being that strong barricade in his path.

Instead, Shizuo had invaded his mind…and his heart.

And it. Was. Excruciating. 

So long as Izaya was absorbed enough in his work, things were fine. But if he let his guard slip even at all, he was consumed in the feeling.

That unidentifiable feeling that just killed him inside. It burned throughout, blurred his sight. It was in his breath, his blood, and his bones. It sped up his heart and made it hard to breathe.

All he wanted was Shizuo.

But…he’d been avoiding meeting the man directly. He’d started avoiding seeing him at all. After all, just merely seeing him made everything all the more difficult. He didn’t know how he’d end up behaving in front of Shizuo and that was dangerous. He wasn’t scared of him, no. But he was scared of himself. He was scared of what he might do and what he might say in front of the man. His utter lack of control of himself when it came to Shizuo was practically petrifying.

Of course, the logical question behind his change of feelings and behavior was, “What had happened for this to occur?”

In fact, it had been a few years since they’d last met or had any interaction at all.

Izaya had gone out of his way after their last fight to physically recover and rehabilitate himself. He kept up in his work over time but the luster and glossy shine of all of his past plots and plannings had been lost. He had no great desire to get it back either. In fact, he’d lost all desire to cause trouble. In these recent years, he even went out of his way to help people. It was a one eighty from his previous behavior. But he supposed that traumatic events and time changed things. Of course, if someone tried to screw with him, he’d promptly show them their place without hesitation. He wasn’t a completely different person, after all.

He’d wanted to forget about Shizuo, while he was at it. Shizuo never sought him out, either. He’d liked it better that way. In this way, it was easy to bury any and all emotions and thoughts surrounding that event and Shizuo himself.

That was, until he saw him one day.

~*~

Five years had passed and Izaya was on his daily walk which he had made a habit of as part of his physical rehab years ago. Today of all days, he decided to venture west of Shinjuku into the Nakano Ward. Not somewhere he typically went, and it was not particularly known for much, but it may be interesting to go off the beaten path, he thought. Walking for a couple of hours, he passed through some obviously more populated areas as well as the less populated residential streets. It was already dark out by the time Izaya had come this far. This was a rather safe district, however, so Izaya felt no strong need to return home as of yet.

Then all at once, on the other side of one street…passed Shizu-chan. Izaya was struck to the bone with a feeling he could not hope to begin to comprehend. All he knew was that he was practically frozen to the spot and he’d entered something like tunnel vision in that all he could see was Shizu-chan. Shock was an under-exaggeration for the feeling of the situation at hand.

Shizu-chan had a messenger bag of sorts slung over his shoulder and he was wearing, of all things…light sportswear. It wasn’t a track suit, just…jogging pants and a t-shirt with a sports logo on it. Even more shocking, his hair was his natural brown color.

But there was no doubt it was him, Izaya would recognize that face anywhere. He managed to hide himself along the side of a shop and watched Shizu-chan pass by. Following him a fair distance away, Izaya watched as he simply continued walking through the town toward the train station.

Izaya followed him even onto the train platform. He just…couldn’t help it. After seeing the beast after several years, he couldn’t help but follow…despite having spent all his time previously avoiding him.

It was just all too shocking. Not only was Shizu-chan not in his usual garb, but he’d gone ahead and returned to being a brunette. But the thing that shocked Izaya the most had to be…

“Heiwajima-sensei!”

A group of young boys in uniforms approached the beast not long before the train arrived. Shizu-chan looked at them, smiling.

A smile…? And…sensei?

“Kirishima-kun? What are you guys doing? Up to no good?”

The boys laughed. “We just finished at cram school,” explained one of them, apparently Kirishima.

They all boarded the train, the boys still surrounding Shizu-chan as they stood near the train doors, holding onto hand rails and the hanging plastic rings overhead as the train began to move. Izaya took a seat close enough to overhear them.

“Sensei, we were working on English today. We were going to ask you tomorrow about this question, but since you’re here…do you mind?”

Shizu-chan smiled again. “Sure, show me.”

The boy pulled out a notebook and a clear file holder from his bag, extracting a piece of paper from it. Of course, Izaya couldn’t see what was written from there, but it was likely some kind of classwork or homework that the kid had pulled out.

Shizu-chan hunched over a little to have a look at the paper.

“Ah, ok,” he started, pointing at the paper. “When you want to ask someone what kind of something they like, as in this example, the actual noun that you are asking about needs to follow ‘_What’. _In this instance, ‘_What do you like fruits?_’ would be incorrect; you need to put ‘_fruits’_ after ‘_What’_.”

The boys were nodding, murmuring varied responses indicating they understood.

Shizu-chan continued.

“More examples would be:

_‘What foods do you like?_

_What comics do you like?_

_What movies do you like?’_

That’s the proper structure.”

The boy Kirishima was jotting something down in his notebook, Shizu-chan reading it to apparently check for accuracy as the boy wrote.

“Ah, I should also mention something else,” Shizu-chan continued. Izaya looked to him, and saw him point at Kirishima’s piece of paper, looking, for lack of a better term…academic.

Izaya watched in awe. It had been years, yes. And he himself had changed too, sure, but…this? Izaya never would have dreamed this of the beast, Shizu-chan.

Well…Shizuo, that is, he unconsciously corrected in his mind, for this…rather captivating being was the beast, but he was…human too. Izaya listened intently.

“It’s correct in this instance to say, ‘_fruits’ _but native speakers will more often say ‘_fruit’_. Either is correct here. But as native Japanese speakers, we have trouble with the differences in usage of singulars and plurals that are so frequently used in English. That entire subject matter would be a whole series of lessons for you down the line. It’s not even in your textbook but to keep it brief, ‘_fruit’ _is a noun that has both a singular and a plural form. When native English speakers talk about fruit in general or in a non-specific manner, they’ll use ‘_fruit’_, as in, ‘_You should eat fruit every day_.’ However, if you’re talking about different kinds of fruit, then you would say ‘_fruits’_. That is, ‘_My favorite fruits are grapes and strawberries_.’ and statements like that.”

Kirishima scribbled furiously on his notebook. The other boys were taking pictures with their phones of Kirishima’s notes. The boy looked back up when he was done.

“It sounds kinda tough to tell the difference though, sensei.”

Shizuo smiled again. “It can be. There are some guidelines you can refer to when it comes to singular and plural nouns in general, but even then, it can be very confusing. If you’re still interested, come to the teacher’s room tomorrow and I can tell you more after lunch,” he explained.

The boys got off at the next stop, waving at Shizuo who waved back.

To put it simply, Izaya was blown away. Even he didn’t know that tidbit about fruit and fruits in English. Yet Shizuo had just pulled that right out like it was nothing.

Just what the hell had happened with Shizuo? It all had to be public record so there was no way Izaya wouldn’t be able to find out…but for now, there was no reason not to keep following him, right?

Besides, he’d never seen these expressions on Shizuo’s face before…this warranted investigation. Yes. Pure, scientific, investigation and that was all. It had nothing to do with the sudden fluttering sensation he started feeling throughout his body.

Shizuo got out at the Ikebukuro train station, Izaya following, of course. After only about ten minutes of walking, Shizuo had entered a building. He got into an elevator, and Izaya watched from the first floor the lit-up indicators showing what floor Shizuo had gotten off at. It was the fourth floor. Taking the stairs, Izaya made his way upwards, careful as he opened the door to the right floor. Seeing several people congregating outside of a room, Izaya busied himself, pretending to look at flyers and notices that were posted on a nearby wall. He waited a while, figuring these people must have something to do with what Shizuo was doing here being that there wasn’t anyone else around at all. It was just about eight o’clock now, and suddenly the people started entering the room. The common thing among them all was that most of them were speaking English with each other, all of them being adult foreigners though they appeared to be natives of differing countries.

Luckily for Izaya, the door to the room was, he noticed, left open.

_“Alright everyone, settle down. We’ll begin class now.”_

That was Shizuo’s voice, Izaya was certain. The only reason that was given any thought at all was because Shizuo had spoken in English. Very clear English. Izaya was shockingly feeling threatened comparing it to his own English skill.

The room quieted, and Izaya crept closer to the room so he could peek in, undetected. There stood Shizuo, who had apparently changed his clothes to a business sort of dress code, though his sleeves were rolled up and he had…reading glasses on.

…why did the look make him so undeniably attractive? Izaya shook his head. Now was not the time for this. In fact, never was the time for this. What was he thinking?

He closed his eyes, letting out a little huff and swallowed. He had to think clearly and ascertain what was going on. Keep calm, keep logical.

Shizuo was conducting a lesson about Japanese, it seemed. Further, he’d switched to Japanese entirely. They’d reviewed what they talked about last class, and then Shizuo had introduced a couple of new grammar points. Next, they’d drilled some higher-level vocabulary.

“Alright, let’s try a new activity,” Shizuo started. “We’re going to describe what a word means without saying the word itself.”

“In Japanese?” A student spoke up.

“Yes,” affirmed Shizuo. “Don’t panic, it’s not as hard as you think. Even better, it’ll help you a lot in different ways. For example, when you don’t know a word, you can describe it instead.”

The general consensus in the room sounded uncertain.

“For example, how would you describe ‘airport’?” Shizuo asked. “We’ll do this together. Let’s start with how you would think of it in English. _‘A place where airplanes land and take off_,’ right? I know you know these words in Japanese…gather your thoughts and you can say it correctly when you slow down for just a moment and think about it.”

One student was called on to attempt it and was successful. The room filled up with general revelatory sounds as well as sounds of comprehension.

Shizuo was writing something on the board, and the students were then told to copy down the words and attempt to describe them on their own. It sounded as though Shizuo was going around, helping students here and there.

“Alright, turn in your papers and I’ll get them back to you next week. We’ll go over some common errors then. Now, we’ve got some time left, so does anyone have any general questions or concerns?”

The topic of conversation shifted to a couple of different topics which included Japanese pension payments, which Shizuo explained to the student in English which forms they needed to use to pay it and where and how to do it, to troubles over separating their garbage specific to the district this person was living in.

“_But sensei, I’m sure I sorted it right this time, so why did someone put my bag in front of my door again_?”

“_Hmm…well, when did you put your garbage out_?”

“_The night before burnables day_.”

“_Ah, that would be it. In some neighborhoods, people don’t really mind if you put it out the night before. But your neighborhood might be different, some people are strict about that. Garbage pickup is usually from something like five in the morning until eight in the morning. So it sounds like you’ll have to drop it off then_.”

“_Damn_,” griped the student.

So…not only was this a language class but it sounded like Shizuo was making an effort to be generally helpful in terms of cultural and lifestyle adjustments as well for foreigners.

There was such a…disparity between this Shizuo and the one Izaya used to know that he practically felt as though he must be disassociating. And yet he was also clearly the same person. This one was just…much more in control. Relaxed and confident, even.

When it sounded like things were wrapping up, Izaya made his move, and took the train back to Shinjuku, walking back home alone. There was much thinking to be done.

~*~

That night, Izaya dug online until he found what he was looking for. It didn’t even take much. It seemed that shortly after their fight, Shizuo had quit his job and moved into the place his brother owned in Tokyo. In doing so, he’d been able to study to enter a local university and became a full-time student. To Izaya’s surprise, he not only managed to become a certified teacher, but he’d scored high enough on the examinations for the prefecture and various boards of educations that he was selected for a junior-senior high school in the Nakano Ward. More than that, his English skills appeared to have sky-rocketed. Further investigation showed that Shizuo had even taken the TOEFL examination and earned a rather high score. How the hell had he managed that? That test was nothing to sneeze at; even native English speakers would frequently acknowledge their surprise in the difficulty level of it.

It seemed Shizuo had only been working for about a year, but his reputation was already high in the local community, with his coworkers, and with the school on the whole not to mention the board of education. Once he’d gotten employed, he moved into his own place in Nakano. He seemed to demonstrate further ambition by joining a small volunteer organization that taught Japanese to foreigners weekly throughout the Tokyo area.

This explained Shizuo’s hair, clothing, and even his attitude. Though it didn’t explain just why he’d gone down this path. Had their final fight affected him so much? It certainly seemed so…

So did that mean…was there hope? Hope for him? Hope for…them?

~*~

He had now already spent the last several months following Shizuo around, even managing to spy on his classes first hand. Not typically an easy thing to do at a public junior and senior high school in Japan given that most normal entrances were right by the receptionists’ area and teacher’s room. Most normal entrances, that is.

The season was only recently turning to Autumn, so the openings into the courtyard and thus several hallways near the student entrance were open, he found. To conceal his presence, he’d probably have to leave his shoes outside and proceed in his socks. It wouldn’t do to let obvious smudges and marks indicate his presence. Especially since, upon his approach, he could overhear the announcement proclaiming cleaning time to be over so any outdoor shoes would leave clear evidence that someone was there who shouldn’t be.

It seemed that 5th period would be beginning shortly. Creeping down the hallway toward the classrooms, he’d have to figure out which one Shizuo would be headed to now. However, there were a few floors to the school so that would prove harder than expected. If he couldn’t spot him before classes began, he’d have to go by trial and error, listening in on each one until he found him as unfortunately, he couldn’t find the schedule by his own means. Thus, either after this or perhaps after everyone went home, he’d have to sneak into the teacher’s room and find out.

Hearing the bell ring for 5th period, Izaya didn’t see Shizuo on this floor. So, he headed upward. Luckily it was just the next floor up that he heard Shizuo’s voice. He overheard the standard opening greeting done, followed by the students sitting back down. And Izaya was rather surprised as even though this was a junior high second year class, Shizuo proceeded to conduct the entire class entirely in English. Even when the students were clearly not understanding something, he didn’t fall back to Japanese but rather he tried different approaches. But what was even more surprising was despite being a new teacher, the students seemed overall responsive to his methods. He was balancing vocabulary and grammar instruction with demonstrations and reinforcement activities with relative ease. That day, Izaya left quickly as the students were practicing the grammar ‘_because’_ with each other.

~*~

After months of occasionally tailing Shizuo and spying on his lessons in between doing his own work, Izaya came to the conclusion that he couldn’t conclude anything. Oh, he could make conclusions about objective things. For example, Shizuo was a shockingly effective teacher. Additionally, his English level was ridiculously high. Further, his passion for teaching appeared to be unrivaled yet it didn’t appear to make a rift between him and the other teachers; interestingly, Shizuo seemed to know just exactly how to interact with any given person to maximum effectiveness. Shizuo was a hard worker, and he seemed to use his spare time to either teach that Japanese class or spend time with friends. Some were people Izaya recognized, and others seemed to be Shizuo’s new colleagues. He’d even joined a group of teachers that went out once in a while for drinks, though it seemed Shizuo did not do a lot of partaking himself. However…when it came to concluding anything of great significance, Izaya couldn’t do it.

Well…it was more accurate to say that he didn’t want to. Once he’d started trying, he did not like where his conclusions were leading and so for once in his life, he stopped altogether.

Unfortunately for him, it was already far too late.

It was the case that the Shizuo he knew from before and the one of today became a mixture in his heart that he couldn’t handle. Which was why he unfortunately began the struggle of enduring emotional pain – a thing he was wildly unfamiliar with.

When no one was around, and he was in the comfort of his home alone…sometimes Izaya would cry. He’d stand in front of his windows, looking down at the streets with tears silently rolling down his face. It just hurt so much. After all, there was no way Shizuo felt even close to the same way that he did. And the worst part was, Izaya had made sure of it himself over the years. But how could he possibly have known that this would happen? That such a thing would strike him down? He’d become a slave to his emotions now yet as frightening as that was, the far more terrifying part of it was that as time marched relentlessly onward, Izaya found he cared less and less.

And so led to the days of longing and the nights of crying. He started avoiding Shizuo once more. It just began to hurt too much even to follow him anymore.

But what the informant didn’t know was that his observations had not gone unnoticed.


	2. Shizuo

Sometimes when he needed a break from lesson planning in the teacher’s room, Shizuo would end up deep in thought at his desk so long as no one approached him, interrupting his train of thought, that is. But lately, he found himself thinking of something in particular. Well, someone, actually.

Izaya.

Honestly, he thought he’d never see the man again. He’d gathered over the years that the flea was still alive, and that had been good enough for him. Though…in more recent times he was getting the strangest urge to find him. If it weren’t for their final fight, Shizuo might not be where he was now, and he loved where he was now. Their fight had provoked in Shizuo the desire to do something good. Not just that, but he wanted to help people, he wanted to be effective, and he wanted to be able to effect lives in a positive way. He had also noted with interest that things just didn’t affect him the way they used to. It was like after his fight with Izaya, the rage drained out of him. Oddly, it was that fight of theirs that not only led to Shizuo being calmer, but also had him pursuing this path. So…if he did see the flea again, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

After consulting with a few friends about this new feeling including Kasuka, he put a plan into motion. He’d need a lot of help to pull it off, but never let it be said that passion can’t go a long way.

He’d decided to become a teacher and he wanted to teach English. It wasn’t his own strongest subject, but after thinking it over for a while, Shizuo felt that he could do the most good with it. It wasn’t like other subjects, he could even remember from his own school days that even though it was often conducted and executed in a similar manner to his other classes, obtaining skill to actually use the foreign language required more. Shizuo decided to do some research of his own on the topic. After doing so, he concluded that if he could teach this language to students, it could do more for them than pure language acquisition; it could enable them to come to understand not just each other better, but people from across the world. Even Japan was becoming more and more influenced by foreign powers and media so future generations needed to understand the world outside of their own box. Further, they’d be more valuable in the workforce and more options would be open to them. Lastly, it would help them become more well-rounded individuals and be able to think for themselves, have opinions, and be able to express that: all things that were typically weak points for a Japanese person. Again, he consulted with friends regarding his thoughts on the matter. If anything, they seemed impressed by his thought process and encouraged him to pursue his new goals.

So, Kasuka offered Shizuo help. He was loathe to accept it, but if he was going to be a student, he’d need to concentrate on that entirely, which would mean he couldn’t work, which meant no income. So he moved into Kasuka’s Tokyo dwelling. Kasuka was there sometimes, but he often had work which called him away to other cities for a while. It was alright though, Shizuo would need to concentrate as much as he could. First, he’d need to be able to enter university in the first place. This was no small feat for him but with not only the help of friends, study books, and some connections of Kasuka’s for tutors, Shizuo was able to become a college student.

Interestingly, Shizuo didn’t struggle from there as much as he thought he would. Sure, he still needed help sometimes but as time passed, he found his own academic skills improving by leaps and bounds. Amazing what he could do when he wasn’t feeling pissed off all the time.

After his first year, Shizuo decided on something a little more drastic. He decided to pursue a study abroad program through his school in America. If he were to have true skill in English, he’d need the immersion, he felt. In the past year alone, his skills had grown but he knew he would not be satisfied with that.

So Shizuo found himself living and studying in America for two years. For the majority of the time, his classes aside from English class were conducted in Japanese. However, towards the end of it, that was changed to English as well. The program itself was accelerated and was designed to improve students’ English abilities to that level while they lived in an English-speaking country. Plus, Shizuo was intent on learning as much as he could and rapidly and drastically improving his fluency.

Though he had to admit that the culture shock was difficult to navigate. Almost everything he could think of was different compared to his own country. The homesickness was a bitch, too. However, thanks to the school offering local events and gatherings, he’d made some American friends. Being with them improved his abilities exponentially as well. Plus, they helped him adjust to life there, especially when he didn’t understand something.

Yet by the time he was to return home, Shizuo knew he’d really miss his American life. He’d made a home for himself there after all. Still, he knew once he had a job and was able to save up a bit, he could come back to visit during holidays. As it was, he returned to Japan, and finished out his last year of school there while living at Kasuka’s place again.

After graduating, he decided he would take the TOEFL examination. It was the hardest English exam available, and he wanted something impressive on his CV. From there, he needed to score high on various examinations for prospective teachers and obtain his license as well. But having accomplished what he had so far, Shizuo was not intimidated. That confidence helped bring him the results he wanted, and before he knew it, he had obtained employment in Tokyo.

He was thrilled about the opportunity and so far, he was really enjoying his work and even his social life.

There was something, however, he certainly hadn’t counted on and that was seeing Izaya again. Some months ago, he had finished at school for the day, leaving when the other teachers did as was standard. But while walking through Nakano, he spotted Izaya across the street. Really, he had managed to smell him first, but he decided not to react. Izaya looked as though he hadn’t noticed him though, so Shizuo decided to simply proceed as though he hadn’t seen him. That was probably best for all involved, right?

Strangely though, he realized that Izaya had, in fact, noticed him and was even following him. So oddly enough, he’d acquired a stalker, it seemed. Though Izaya apparently had no intention of approaching Shizuo. That was fine with him. Whatever Izaya wanted, he’d already left Shizuo alone for years and had not gotten in his way or interfered with his life at all. Even now, he was merely…silently observing. It was both very much like Izaya, yet also unlike him as well. Shizuo supposed that if the flea wanted to watch him that badly, as long as he didn’t stand in Shizuo’s way of life any longer, it was fine. As far as stalkers went, anyways.

Besides, as the months passed with Izaya watching him but still never approaching, Shizuo got used to it. He was immensely curious as to what the flea wanted but he continued to think it was better to leave it alone. Anyway, if Izaya had some plan or plot, surely something would’ve happened by now. He was apparently not doing anything to the students, and nothing seemed to be happening with the other teachers either, so what was it that the flea wanted?

His curiosity only increased when the flea stopped showing up. 

And so, Shizuo did something that would have been unthinkable in his previous life.

He stalked the flea back.

Lucky for Shizuo, Izaya lived in the same place as he had before in Shinjuku. After all his time chasing the flea he had inevitably found out where he lived. He couldn’t get into Izaya’s home or anything, but he could watch out for him this way. Of course, he was only able to do this at night and on weekends, but still. It turned out to be enough.  
  
~*~

On one occasion, he’d spotted Izaya leaving his place midday on a Saturday, looking determined about something. Following him, he saw Izaya go into a café nearby, and was meeting with someone in a suit. They were there for about fifteen minutes before Izaya left, having shook hands with the man and they bowed at each other as would be expected of a business meeting. It didn’t seem particularly shady, given such a public meeting place.

Walking away from the café, Izaya suddenly pulled out his phone, and put it up to his ear. It must’ve rung. Shizuo moved in closer to try to listen.

“Absolutely not, those are not the agreed upon terms,” he was saying, stopping on the sidewalk.

Izaya sounded annoyed. Shizuo focused on listening.

“I accept jobs with the full responsibilities that come with them. However, this one was not to be handled in such a manner,” as he spoke, Izaya turned into a nearby alley, probably hoping for some privacy. Shizuo moved to stand nearby, hidden by a vending machine.

Then, something more interesting happened. Izaya switched to English.

_“Then our deal cannot be guaranteed. If that is the case, whatever your plot is will grind to a halt, I assure you.”_

Shizuo had, in the back of his mind, suspected that Izaya probably knew English, but hearing it straight from him was another matter altogether. Not to mention the ability level was quite good, though Shizuo himself had no trouble following along.

_“You were to ensure the safety of the client’s family should the worst occur. You are, however, as you said, ‘failing’ in that end of the deal, so to speak. That being the case, your services are no longer required and as such you will not be paid for this. Oh, and rest assured, your treachery will be dealt with accordingly.”_

The look on Izaya’s face now was cold. And yet…the safety of a family? Was the flea trying to protect someone? That would be different. And Shizuo also sensed an interesting…side-effect of Izaya’s English. For whatever reason, his voice in English was…rather attractive.

_“Blackmail, really? Do you think I am not constantly prepared for such threats? And who do you think you are, trying to one-up me in the first place?”_

A threat like that against the flea? Did the person on the phone not know who he was talking to?

_“Why? It’s simple: I am the best there is,”_ Izaya wasn’t even bragging; he was simply stating it like a fact. Shizuo had to admit, he didn’t know a lot about Izaya’s kind of work, but it always seemed to him that he did it well.

_“I understand that there have been rumors on my…working style over the last few years and that I’ve gone soft, as they say. But it matters not to me what people say. My reputation is unimportant, you see.”_

Now what was this about? Izaya didn’t care about his reputation? A change in his working style?

_“It’s unimportant, as I said. Now, what matters the most is ensuring that man’s wife and daughter are safe. And as we’ve just been over, you have proved yourself unworthy of the task. I will handle it personally, so do yourself a favor and forget we ever had a deal.”_

How strange…Izaya was trying to save a woman and her daughter or something like that? It was unthinkable. The flea he knew never would’ve cared about the fates of random people before, of that he was sure. Yet now…he did?

_“Now, please bear in mind the following: Should you attempt some kind of petty scheme of revenge, please make note that you will not find the result of such a thing at all pleasant. Do take care.”_

Izaya hung up and immediately called someone else. Shizuo listened as Izaya used Japanese to talk with someone regarding that woman and girl. It seemed he would be on his way to check on them himself until they were to be moved the next day.

From there, the flea hastily left the alley and continued on his way. Practically running down the street, Izaya ended up heading to the station and getting on a train. In fact, he ended up taking a couple of different lines until he got off on the south side of Tokyo. Shizuo followed, still quite curious indeed.

Eventually, Shizuo followed him into a neighborhood and watched him approach a house. The flea rang the bell and a woman answered. This must be her. They spoke for a few minutes, the young daughter showing up as well. Shizuo watched as Izaya and the woman bowed at each other in parting, the woman now in tears, yet she was thanking him. Even more shocking was the little girl hugged the flea, who patted her head in response.

Leaving the house, the flea turned away and began walking back.

Shizuo saw his face.

He was smiling. It was a real smile, too but more than that…it was beautiful. Shizuo had never seen it before. Later when he was alone, he’d admit to himself that he wanted to see it again. He wanted to see more.

The flea got on the phone again, it sounded like he was confirming arrangements for the woman and girl. From what he could gather, they were in danger thanks to the husband’s misdeeds, and the flea—no…Izaya was arranging their departure from the country to be safe.

~*~  
As if that experience hadn’t been ground-shaking enough for him, Shizuo encountered another particularly shocking instance in which Izaya actually spoke of him. Izaya was in Ikebukuro that day, and Shizuo was not upset about it. After all, Izaya had followed him there previously, and as Shizuo was observing, Izaya wasn’t doing anything harmful. It was amazing, really. Therefore, Izaya was fine to roam around his old city, as far as Shizuo was concerned.

He watched Izaya get ootoro at Russia Sushi, enjoying it with such a wide smile, Shizuo couldn’t help but stare and unconsciously smiled himself. Once he left, Izaya went to a park not too far away and sat on a bench, right next to a man wearing casual clothing. They began speaking. Shizuo didn’t pay too much attention to the pleasantries until his own name came up in conversation.

“Ah…I see why you wanted to speak with me in person,” Izaya responded to the man. “However, I’m afraid I cannot help you.”

“What?” came the shout. “But - you’re the best there is and besides, you’ve always hated him, right? It should be no problem!”

Izaya smirked, with a look that seemed to pity the man.

“That’s just the thing, Kawagishi-san. I don’t hate him at all,” Izaya spoke like he was talking about the weather. “In any case, it doesn’t matter. Information about Heiwajima Shizuo and his whereabouts are not for sale. I don’t care that your new gang thinks it can take him down, that is entirely irrelevant to me.”

Wait…Izaya was…protecting him?

“But-! But, what’s your problem, huh? I heard you guys fought to the death before, yeah?”

“The past is of no importance.”

Izaya got up, seemingly looking to leave the area but the guy followed him.

“Oh…oh, I get it- you like him, don’t’cha? You swing that way, huh?”

Izaya chuckled, as if he were just told a particularly amusing joke, and turned back to face the guy, Shizuo being able to see Izaya’s face once more.

“And if I did?”

The guy, Kawagishi, stopped cold. He didn’t seem to expect such a response.

He wasn’t the only one. Shizuo’s heart sped up and up until he thought it would explode. Unconsciously, he brought his own hand over his mouth, as if to cover up his now heavy breathing.

“Ah, but we’re getting off subject. Firstly, you should know I am exceedingly selective of the work I take on. Secondly, I do not bring harm to people unless they instigate due cause. And third, the main point here is that I am not telling you a thing about Heiwajima-san.”

Kawagishi looked ready to fight. Izaya pulled out a knife.

“Oh, and if you even attempt to threaten me, him, or anyone he knew, you will be begging for the mercy of your God’s wrath compared to what I will do,” there was the cold look in Izaya’s eyes. “I’m sure you can comprehend that, yes?”

Kawagishi…turned and ran. The look on his face suggested he was on fire.

As soon as Izaya left the area as well, Shizuo ran too. Though it wasn’t his body, but his heart that was aflame.

~*~

Shizuo leaned back in his chair in the teacher’s room. Everyone would be going home shortly anyway, and he had his work done for the rest of the week, so he had been safe in his reminiscing.

In any case, it was about time to leave, and Shizuo was excited and nervous about it. He was about to go see Izaya, after all.

It was time to talk with Izaya himself, directly. He had gathered why Izaya had begun following him, but he needed to know why Izaya was staying away again. But also, he had confronted his own feelings for Izaya and well…he was going to share them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cultural note:
> 
> Leaving work: The structure of the Japanese workplace is different from most Western cultures in various ways. One such way is when you leave your job. There are contracted and specialty workers in schools who will have different schedules and thus expectations compared to regular teachers, so their comings and goings are not to strict. However, the regular teacher typically oversees a class as their homeroom teacher, teaches a specific subject to several classes, and often oversees school activities and/or a club. As such, the majority of teachers will often arrive at school at least a couple of hours before classes begin, and leave the school after students do, including students participating in a club. A Japanese worker will not want to leave before their coworkers do. It is seen as unseemly and you wouldn't be considered a hard worker- which is very much the last thing you want. That is to say, an individual doesn't want to leave significantly ahead of the group.


	3. Together

With any luck, Izaya would actually be home. All Shizuo had to do was knock…it was that easy, right? Though upon doing so, a certain amount of fear struck him, and he had the sudden urge to run away like a young child. But he wouldn’t. This was his chance, after all. If Shizuo knew Izaya as well as he thought he did, he felt he’d probably only get one chance.

The door opened after a couple of minutes. It was almost surprising, since Shizuo couldn’t hear anything from the other side of the door previously. But there he was, the one he was waiting for.

Izaya.

What started off as a typically prepared smirk morphed into a mask of neutrality almost immediately. Shizuo could only gaze into those honest eyes that revealed far more than his face and his words did. Yet in his peripheries, Shizuo could see the harder grip on the door handle and the visible swallow of the throat.

Was it fear?

…yes, it was. But it wasn’t a kind of terror that one would experience in running from a monster, for instance. No, this was more personal. It came from internal sources, and Shizuo knew he was the direct cause, at least. Clearly, he’d caught Izaya off guard. Before Shizuo had the chance, Izaya spoke.

“Can I help you, sir?”

Oh, he was good, Shizuo would give him that. It was even expected. But Shizuo wouldn’t let him off so easily.

“I know that you know it’s me, Izaya,” Shizuo spoke insistently. “Don’t try to play this game.”

Izaya looked at him for a moment.

“And what kind of game would you like, then, Heiwajima-san?” Shizuo frowned. Izaya was trying to distance himself.

  
~*~  
  
‘What the hell What the hell What the hell??’ came the only coherent thought in Izaya’s mind.

He was completely unprepared for this. Such a thing as an unexpected event scared him well enough on its own…but throwing this present day’s Shizuo into the mix? It was all he could do to put up a façade of normalcy.

To make Shizuo go away or at least distance himself, Izaya treated him like a stranger. It wasn’t working.

“The kind of game where I come in and we have a talk,” Shizuo responded.

What could he do? He had to get out of this somehow…right?

One thing was certain: he could not face Shizuo. Possibly ever, for the chances of coming out of it with a broken heart were far too high and unfortunately for Izaya, that was not something he could ever come out of unscathed. Besides, Shizuo was just…far too beautiful. His physical appearance was one thing. Shizuo had always been attractive, that was true. But he was so much more than that. Izaya had known this from the time they’d met but now in these recent years, Shizuo had further changed into someone so spectacular that he was even capable of capturing Izaya’s heart. But even so…

“That sounds rather boring, I’m afraid.”

Shizuo smiled.

He smiled.

He smiled at him.

That had never happened before. Izaya blinked, thinking his sight must’ve gone blurry for a moment or something similar. It was not the case.

The longer he looked at that smile, the more Izaya knew he was on a path to ruin. Not quite as reluctantly as he’d have hoped, Izaya stepped back, allowing Shizuo to come in. He heard the teacher taking his shoes off in the entrance area and headed to the kitchen to make tea.

“Might as well sit down, I’ll be out in a minute,” he called. This would give him a little bit of time to recover from the shock and figure out how to handle things from here.

And yet, he felt as though he were chained to something invisible forcing him onto a preordained path of inevitability.

But no, he couldn’t let that happen. He had no idea what Shizuo could possibly want with him, but there was no way it’d end well for Izaya. He’d do his damndest to hide his feelings but…this was Shizuo, after all. Izaya didn’t have high hopes for success of concealment.

Bringing the tea out, he placed it on the table in front of the couch. Shizuo was sat down close to the middle of it. Izaya took a seat on the opposite side, crossing his arms and legs.

And Shizuo just…stared.

Izaya had to look away.

“So…what do you want?”

Shizuo looked down to the floor, a gentle smile on his face. Izaya refused to acknowledge any effect that look had on him.

“That’s…a little hard to say, I think.”

Izaya frowned.

‘He comes in here, of all places, to see me, of all people, unannounced after all this time…and yet he avoids a direct question about it?’

“Considering it’s been years since we’ve met and our last meeting was not exactly what most would call civil, I’d think your reasons for showing up in my home all of a sudden after all this time would be fairly straightforward and not terribly difficult to express.”

There it was yet again, that smile.

‘God damnit, is everything I say going to trigger this?’

There was not a flush on his face. Really.

  
~*~  
  
Shizuo sighed internally. Izaya certainly didn’t make anything easy, but that’s who he was. Even so, Shizuo would fight for this. For him.

Izaya might not have realized it, but he’d begun blushing. Shizuo simply kept smiling.

‘Cute.’

Shizuo leaned forward, clasping his hands together as he rested his chin on top them. His elbows were resting on top of his legs. He looked back up at Izaya, who seemed determined not to look at him.

Well. Fine then. He’d have to go all in. Heart pounding, he spoke.

“Will you go out with me?”

Izaya’s eyes darted back to his own, his posture relaxing into a state of surprise and disbelief. His mouth hung open just slightly, and the blush in his cheeks deepened.

“H-huh?”

Was it that hard to believe? Well…in all fairness, it seemed Izaya had no idea he’d been followed for a while. By Shizuo, of all people. And therefore, he surely wasn’t aware of all that he’d witnessed. He truly must’ve taken Izaya off guard, showing up here.

‘He needs to be more careful,’ Shizuo worried at the thought. But he couldn’t get distracted.

While Izaya remained in shock by the question, Shizuo got up and made his way over to Izaya’s side, sitting right next to him, their legs touching and shoulders brushing.

“I knew you were there,” Shizuo started. “Months back, I saw you walking in Nakano. You didn’t seem to notice me, but I was wrong. You followed me everywhere that night.”

Izaya stiffened up, hearing the words.

“More than that, you even came to the school many times, and kept following me here and there…but you never did a thing. Not to me, nor to anyone else. You never approached me, but you never left either…until sometime later, you completely disappeared.”

~*~

Not only had Shizuo dropped a question like that on him, he revealed that he knew Izaya had, well, stalked him. He was in for it now.

Shizuo was a hard-working, kind, and smart person. But despite that…he didn’t really mean it, did he? Go out with him? No…it had to be some kind of joke, right? Some form of a sick prank? And Shizuo had moved right next to him. The proximity was unbearable.

But just before he could make a move to remedy that particular issue, a hand enclosed over one of his own.

Warm.

“So when you left me alone entirely, I…got curious and followed you too.”

What?

Izaya dared to look over at Shizuo. He was smiling, looking somewhat abashed, however.

“I watched you over time when I had the chance. I saw so many things that…how do I put this?”

Shizuo stopped for a moment, looking away in thought. Having seemingly come to a conclusion, he looked back at Izaya and…changed to English.

_“You enthralled me.”_

Izaya’s lungs seized for a quick second. Was he really hearing this? The air had somehow become thicker and it took more effort to breathe. How was this happening? Never mind that his face must be on fire by now.

_“I saw parts of you I’d never seen before…and I want more.”_

It felt like he was spinning in a dream. Was this reality, or a dream about to turn nightmare making for another painful night alone?

_“I know you must know a lot about me at this point, Izaya…but I don’t know a lot about you,”_ Shizuo continued, unaware of the turmoil in Izaya’s mind, apparently._ “But I want to change that. What I saw of you…looked so sincere like I’ve never imagined you could be.”_

Izaya put his other hand on top of Shizuo’s. He was giving in…and so easily, too. From the moment he’d opened his front door, he’d known deep down that this was it. But now…much had changed about Shizuo. Yet…other things had not, he knew this. Izaya knew that the man was still honest and rather forthright. This…this wasn’t a joke, was it…no. Daring to look directly into his eyes, Izaya saw that sincerity.

Shizuo smiled, yet again. He was starting to look relieved as he spoke quieter now. As if the two of them were having a private conversation in public.

_“And so…I want you to show me who you are, Izaya. Give yourself to me,”_ Shizuo nearly whispered. _“And in return, I will do the same.”_

Izaya took a slow, deep breath and exhaled equally slowly, though shakily. That was…quite the bold request. Not exactly one he had ever taken on before, either. Well…it wasn’t as though he could get redder at this point anyway.

But…this meant his hope was not unfounded after all. He didn’t have to suffer like he had been again, did he? If Shizuo was serious, then…this was what he wanted. This would be what he’d longed for. Would all those tears be worthwhile?

Izaya felt a hand caressing his face, urging him to look at the other.

So he smiled.  
  
~*~  
  
That…that was what he wanted to see. That smile of Izaya’s. Rare, thus precious. Light and breathtaking. Small but pure. Just as Shizuo had come to feel over time, he was smitten. Izaya was truly astonishing. He was such a variety of different people that it intrigued Shizuo. Not only was the informant highly intelligent but he was fascinating, steadfast in his interests, gorgeous, and secretly kind.

_“I won’t ask you to answer right now…I know this is sudden, so I’ll give you whatever time you need.”_

Shizuo pulled his hands away and made to get up until he felt a tug on his shirt.

_“I don’t need it.”_

_“What?”_

_“I don’t need any time,” _Izaya explained. “_I know what I want, Shizuo, and that’s you. I’ve wanted you for a long time now.”_

Now it was his own turn to blush. He had been rather sure that this was the case with Izaya, but at the same time, he was still taken aback.

_“The only thing I didn’t know was how you felt. No…that’s not true. I had been certain you still hated me,”_ Izaya had a far off look in his eyes before he looked back to Shizuo with clear intent. _“But if you’re being honest now, as I’m positive you are, then…yes, I will go out with you.”_

Shizuo could swear right then that his heart itself fluttered.

“Thank you, Izaya.”

Shizuo pulled him into a hug.

“No…thank you, Shizuo.”

Izaya was gripping at his shirt, nearly mumbling.

“If you hadn’t come here, I would’ve been too afraid to go to you myself. I only stopped following you because it grew to be too painful. As I had deemed it unthinkable that you would ever come close to returning my feelings, I tried to fight them off, but it was impossible.”

Shizuo pulled back a little, looking into Izaya’s face as he rested his forehead against Izaya’s own. He placed his hands on Izaya’s shoulders.

“You don’t need to feel that way again,” Shizuo replied. “I’m here, now. And so long as I’m what you want, I have no intention of leaving you.”  
  
~*~  
  
He would not cry. He would. Not.

Yet as Izaya looked into those eyes, his own began to tear up.

“Izaya…may I?”

Izaya blinked to clear his vision and noticed Shizuo’s eyes flickering down.

Oh.

“Yes.”

That was when a pair of soft and warm lips covered his own. He kissed back and hummed gently against them, trying to encourage Shizuo, who did not require such a thing. He turned his head slightly to fit his lips better together with his, and Izaya could feel himself melt.

Shizuo moved a hand very slowly up his neck toward his face, and the sensation caused Izaya to shiver and gasp against his mouth. This was all the chance Shizuo needed to push his tongue into that warmth. Izaya groaned and pulled Shizuo by the shirt towards him.

Slowly, Shizuo used his strength to his advantage as they separated and pushed Izaya back, who had no issue with tilting backwards and laying on the couch as Shizuo’s body laid on top of him.

Looking straight ahead, Izaya could only gaze into those golden-brown eyes belonging to the one who had him pinned down. The only one he’d ever allow to pin him down. The one he wanted, the one he loved.

In a dream, he felt those warm hands run through his hair, and Izaya grasped the front of his shirt, trying to pull Shizuo closer again.

“Shizuo,” he groaned.

~*~

That now sultry voice speaking his name echoed through Shizuo’s mind. Izaya’s eyes had a glazed appearance to them now and he was tilting his head back further, seemingly offering his neck up.

Shizuo took the opportunity, grazing his lips against the sensitive skin displayed before him. Nibbling the juncture between Izaya’s neck and shoulder, Izaya moved his hands to Shizuo’s hair, pulling at it as he arched up into him. As Shizuo continued his work on Izaya’s neck, he heard that addictive voice whimpering right by his ear. He groaned against the now marked flesh, eliciting moans from the quaking form beneath him.

Izaya’s legs bent, allowing him to settle between them easier. Shizuo took the hands from his hair, intertwining their fingers together and holding them down at the sides of Izaya’s head before kissing him once more.

Shizuo couldn’t stop himself from grinding his hips down but Izaya was quick to return the motion as he began murmuring Shizuo’s name between heavy breaths as they continued, both of them growing hard with want.

Alluring was the word running through Shizuo’s mind. It described Izaya perfectly, he thought. The smaller man was staring at him with nothing less than intense desire, those red eyes burning with delight and need. Shizuo grew harder with just that look. His own gaze darkened to a smolder as he stared into those eyes that couldn’t lie to him.

He hadn’t originally intended on doing anything even close to this but if a willing and accepting Izaya was right here, then…

“Izaya…do you want this?”

~*~

He’d learned a while back that he was weak to that voice, but to hear it say his name like that? The resulting sensation was inescapable. His throat let out a weak mewl in response and he didn’t even care.

He could not even imagine pretending to lie or refuse this. Suffice to say, he had not even deigned to dream that this could be possible but…what if this was his chance? Chances were that Shizuo would once more hate him down the road and well…

Izaya freed a hand and reached up to Shizuo’s face, gently cupping it. Shizuo watched him, waiting for something.

“Please.”

It was all he could manage at this point.

It was enough.

Especially when a hand let go of his own and made its way underneath his shirt. He arched into the touch as the hand roamed everywhere within reach, his shirt soon coming off before he reached up to clutch at Shizuo’s shoulder.

Shizuo’s hands traveled to his pants, unzipping them swiftly and pulling them down. Izaya pulled at the buttons on Shizuo’s shirt, removing the offending garment. His own hands roamed Shizuo’s chest and back as the man leaned over, kissing him again and their tongues collided and battled for dominance. But one of Shizuo’s hands had travelled downward and when he grasped Izaya’s cock, stroking him, he dug his nails into Shizuo’s back ever so slightly as illicit sounds came out of his own mouth, much to his own disbelief.

“A-Ahhh…Sh-Shi…haaa!”

His toes curled as Shizuo’s hand intently brought him closer and closer to his climax.

Then suddenly, Shizuo was sitting up, staring deep into Izaya’s eyes as he placed three of his own fingers in his mouth, coating them in thick saliva and sucking on them all the while. His other hand travelled to his own pants, hastily undoing them. Izaya swallowed harshly, something akin to a chill running up his spine at the sight, but he wasn’t cold…just the opposite. Shizuo ground his hips down once more, obviously enjoying the sight of Izaya squeezing his eyes shut in pleasure, head tilting back and something suspiciously close to a tiny scream escaping his mouth.

Izaya felt his legs begin to lift up above Shizuo’s shoulders, and they were pushed towards him as Shizuo leaned forward into him. Opening his eyes again, he saw a fiendish smile on that handsome face. Izaya was permanently shaken…this man irrevocably had him. Shizuo whispered into his ear.

“Are you ready, Izaya?”

Those torturous hands were sliding along his thighs, turning Izaya’s breathing into an uneven mess. He raised his shaking arms and hooked them around Shizuo’s neck as the hands grasped his buttocks.

“For you?” Izaya responded in a moan. “Always, Shizuo.”

It didn’t take long for a finger to enter him, swirling and curling inside him. Izaya grasped at Shizuo’s back, the feelings of slight pain with pleasure mixing inside of him. But he got used to it soon enough and pushed against the finger. Another joined it, diligently spreading his opening apart farther and Izaya couldn’t help but spread his legs further as well.

Meanwhile, Shizuo was planting kisses on his face, neck, ear…whispering sweet nothings all the while as a third finger entered him. Together, the fingers moved in and out of him and when it they hit a certain spot, Izaya couldn’t stop the scream leaving his mouth.

“Ah! Shizuo!”

Shizuo looked at him, but Izaya turned his face away in clear embarrassment.

How the hell could he have let that out? Why couldn’t he keep some modicum of dignity?

~*~

Shizuo chuckled, almost touched by Izaya’s embarrassment. It was adorable.

“Don’t worry so much…I loved that.”

The blushing Izaya looked back at him before looking quickly to the side…but a smile spread across his face.

It was the sweetest thing.

Shizuo curled his hand around Izaya’s, and withdrew the other from Izaya’s body, using it to help himself move in place properly and prepare himself.

Izaya gave him a small nod, closing his eyes.

Pushing in ever so slowly, Shizuo paused now and again as he judged the expression on Izaya’s face, and the extent to which the one hand on his shoulder dug into him with those nails. But eventually, Shizuo was in all the way to the hilt as Izaya’s breath came in pants between small moans. Shizuo moaned in turn as Izaya’s insides adjusted and squeezed around him.

Izaya opened his eyes after a few moments, letting out a deep breath as he stared into Shizuo’s eyes.

“Move.”

Shizuo didn’t hesitate.

He withdrew ever so slightly, and pushed back in, his hand grabbing Izaya’s hip. He started out this way and gradually pulled out further and further before pushing back in.

“Hnnngghh…ahhh…f-faster,” Izaya groaned.

And so, he did. Picking up the pace, Shizuo tried different angles until he could hit that spot again.

Izaya’s nails dug into him as he screamed his name again. This time, he didn’t look away as he met Shizuo’s thrusts with his hips. Izaya’s head tilted back, and Shizuo leaned into him once again, whispering into his ear between thrusts.

“You feel so good, Izaya…come for me.”

“Hmmmghhh…”

Shizuo smiled. The glazed look in his eyes indicated that he wasn’t really capable of responding, but Izaya couldn’t possibly be sexier than he was at that moment. Shizuo grunted into his ear as he went a little harder, constantly moving against the prostate, Izaya reacting well to it with a shout.

His own release was building up imminently and as Izaya let out a silent scream as he came, spasming around Shizuo, he too had reached that point and he pushed deep into Izaya, coming inside of him.

They were both panting, staring at each other as they came down from their respective highs. Shizuo pulled out slowly before laying down, pulling Izaya on top of him so they could fit on the couch, holding him close.

After a little while, Izaya spoke.

“Shizuo.”

“Hm?”

“…will you stay?”

Izaya had practically whispered it...was he still afraid? Shizuo pulled him closer.

“Always.”

~*~

Clear laughter.

“That’s just like you.”

“Hm?”

“You get so caught up in the details that you sometimes miss the bigger picture.”

“Hmm, yeah, that’s true.”

A light snicker.

“It’s adorable, Shizuo.”

Izaya was holding a take-out bag from Russia Sushi though his other hand was interlaced with Shizuo’s hand as they walked down the road, enjoying the nice weather.

“You know what’s just like you?”

“What?”

“Pointing out every single little thing like that.”

“Well, how would you make it through your day otherwise?”

“I wouldn’t, I guess.”

They both knew that was a lie but even so…they smiled at each other easily, content this way.

In the beginning, Izaya was still worried that perhaps Shizuo wouldn’t stay. That he wouldn’t have feelings for him for long. But now, it’d already been nearly a year, and Izaya’s confidence on the subject built up every day.

“But I’m so glad you approve of my lesson plans, love.”

Izaya elbowed Shizuo gently, blushing slightly.

“How many times have I told you not to call me that in public…?”

A smirk.

“I thought you didn’t care about your reputation anymore?”

A sigh.

“I don’t, not really, it’s just…embarrassing.”

“Why? You’re perfectly deserving of it, Izaya. You don’t need to worry about that like you do.”

Izaya looked over at him and allowed a small smile to cross his face. Shizuo counted it as a win.

They arrived back at Izaya’s place. After removing their shoes, they sat down to eat.

Like that day over a year ago, Shizuo smiled as he watched Izaya happily eat ootoro.

Izaya noticed Shizuo wasn’t eating and was just looking at him with that drop-dead gorgeous smile of his that he never tired of.

“…What?”

“Izaya?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

And there was that smile Shizuo always craved.

“I love you too, Shizuo.”

Neither of their feelings would ever change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cultural Note:
> 
> Distancing oneself: To keep it brief, the way you refer to another person particularly right in front of them indicates the sense of closeness or the relationship between the two of you. (Though it's also indicative of politeness). In this instance, Izaya is using Shizuo's last name with the standard "Mr." suffix, which is a very...overall neutral and polite way of addressing someone as opposed to using his first name, for example. It would also indicate being distant regarding how close they are in terms of knowing each other, friendliness, etc.

**Author's Note:**

> Cultural notes:
> 
> 1\. Shizuo's clothes: Male school teachers in Japan frequently wear garb just like this. You may even see some in sweatsuits and a variety of casual wear though nothing very colorful. However, other male teachers, especially the principal and other supporting staff most often wear the more expected trousers and button up shirts.
> 
> 2\. Teacher's room: In Japanese schools, students don't move from classroom to classroom, they have their own assigned classrooms and thus have the same classmates the whole year. Teachers, however, all have a desk in the shared teacher's room where they work and keep their things. Then they're the ones that go to each different classroom to conduct lessons.
> 
> 3\. Garbage: In Japan, garbage is to be separated primarily by burnable and non-burnable (plastic) garbage. You must buy locally specific labeled garbage bags for this, and it's expected you write your name or address on it. Neighborhood collection sites collect each type on specific days in the morning and it's generally not very acceptable to put it out the night before. There are further divisions of garbage types including metals, plastic bottles, paper, cardboard and more that have different collection sites and requirements for how they're handled but this would get far too long for me to go into all of it. If you mess up your neighborhood collection methods, you may end up with neighbors who come to you and complain about it. From perhaps patiently explaining to you the problem, to potentially yelling and throwing your bag back at you.
> 
> 4\. School cleaning: Generally speaking, Japanese schools don't have janitors. Instead, the whole school puts a white hat or bandana on their head while music plays over the speaker system and every individual has a specific area to clean. Wiping, sweeping, and mopping ensues on a daily basis. It's typically either after lunch, or after all classes have finished depending on the school.
> 
> 5\. Shoes: In every household (as well as schools and doctor's offices) when one enters the building, they take off their shoes at the entrance and exchange them for indoor shoes. For visitors, slippers are provided in the entrance. The entrance space is separated from the rest of the building or home by making one have to take a step up to go in, so there is a clear divide between the interior of the building and the entrance where shoes are kept along with umbrellas.


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